Just Venting in Columbia

Chicken Nuggets and Curly Fries

2008-09-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

My parents are what I consider to be gourmet cooks. I grew up eating my dad’s mouthwatering Eggs Benedict, Welsh Rarebit, and Cassoulet, and my mom’s fabulous cole slaw, Brennan’s potato salad, and homemade cheesecake. Together they made the best turkey gravy on the planet. Thanksgiving was always a savory treat. When I started cooking for myself, I followed their lead. I learned how to use Cajun spices, to liberally use Tabasco, and studied the art of making a decent roux.

I never met a veggie that I didn’t like. Brussels sprouts, spinach, turnip greens, salads of all kinds....I thought they were all delicious and couldn’t wait to share a variety of terrific meals with the family I planned to have one day.

And that day came…but in no way resembled the fantasy floating around in my head! My husband, Ed, is willing to try just about anything I cook (thanks, sweetie). But Ed and I were not prepared for the “culinary piece” of the sensory issues that come with having boys on the autism spectrum.

Our two sons couldn’t be more different in their taste preferences and tolerances. When they were young, I insisted that the boys “try a bite” of everything on their plate. My older son literally threw up at the table on two different occasions. My younger son would throw tantrums of such proportions when asked to “try a bite” that the neighbors could hear him two doors down! Where were the sounds of “please pass the peas” or “save some of that Szechuan beef for me”?!?

My dreams of amazing family dinners were shattered. The reality was (and is) that my boys can simply not tolerate many smells, tastes, and textures. The thought of tasting a Brussels sprout would probably send both boys into an orbit from which they would never return. They both agree on one food, however…French fries are fabulous favorites! And chicken nuggets.

(For those familiar, we tried the GFCF diet with both boys while they were still young. My older son showed no improvement, and my younger son showed some gains on the diet. For a couple of years, he was gluten-free. But over time, we discovered that with digestive enzymes, he could eat wheat without negative effects.)

And here we are…many years later. We’ve had to accept that there are battles not worth fighting. As any parent of a special-needs child knows, there are exhausting challenges which we face every day. Ed and I are learning to focus on the most pressing matters. Issues that seemed important “before autism”, have become insignificant. (E.g., there’s no point in teaching “don’t talk with your mouth full”, when your child is just beginning to talk at age four or five).

The “sensory integration piece” continues to affect so many areas of the boys’ lives, not just their food tolerance. We still encourage them to try new foods, and they are getting much better at it.

As we take a light hearted look back, we have to laugh at some of the culinary chaos that’s come our way. We remember those earlier days and have put together a video that depicts some of our favorite food struggles and memories. Hope you enjoy.
Bon appetit!

The Fairly Odd Family Geocaching

2008-09-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Brian approached us recently, all excited about a contest he had seen on Nick. It was called the "Wii Fit Family Challenge", and the winning families would receive a trip to Florida. All that was required was for us to submit a short video showing our family, in action on the "Wii Fit" or engaged in another fitness-related activity. Since we don't own a Wii Fit, we opted for one of our favorite activites, geocaching.

I wrote up a simple script...the boys loved memorizing and acting it out! We were not selected as "Wii Fit Family Challenge" finalists, but it was a great day...for a hike, a geocache, a few laughs, and just for being together.

The Junk Food Challenge

2008-07-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm throwing down the gauntlet. I challenge anyone to find more junk food in their house than we have in ours! My money is on the Fairly Odd Family aka Nieves central.

Oh well, I gotta give my kids something they can talk with their therapists about one day (how Mom ruined their culinary habits, abused their taste buds, hardened their arteries, etc.). Anyone out there up to the "Junk Food Challenge"?? If so, please post!

The 2008 Boat Float

2008-06-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

One of the first things we did when we moved to Maryland (has it really been 13 months ago???), was to enter the Howard County Boat Float as a family. We spent hours putting together our little cardboard boat last year, and promptly sank it after paddling a mere 100 yards or so.

Last Saturday, we actually managed to float throughout the entire boat float! We weren't very fast, and my arms are killing me (the paddling is much tougher than it looks!), but we made it! We didn't sink, and we won the "Family Spirit Award".

We named our boat the "S.S. Feelin' Groovy", and I had attempted to tie- dye shirts and hats for the kids. Brian was ever so grateful that his homemade shirt turned up missing (hmmm, we still haven't found it), and he was able to wear an old "real" tie-dyed shirt from many moons ago.

It was a glorious day on Lake Kittamaqundi, and we had a fabulous time. Next year though, we're gonna concentrate on design and aerodynamics. Most of the boats in the Boat Float look a little bit more like boats, and a little bit less like furniture boxes. :-)
Oh well, you gotta crawl before you walk, and walk before you run!

Caching Across America

2007-11-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

When we first started Geocaching two years ago, I thought it would be neat to find a cache in all 50 states by the time Brian graduated high school. It gave us a goal plus an excuse to travel, which we all love. And guess what? A template’s already in place. We discovered today that there’s a Geocaching series in which one cache has been placed in each U.S. state…it’s called “Cache Across America”. I’m thinking this was tailor-made for the Nieves family!

After you’ve located all fifty states’ caches, you’re eligible to receive the clue to the final cache, located in our nation’s capital. Ironically, the final cache coordinates (at least from the hints we’ve been given) are closer to us than any of the other fifty states caches! Seems the story of our lives…we go circuitously and completely out of the way to finally find ourselves right back where we started.

The Maryland “Cache Across America” stash was in Greenbrier State Park, just outside Frederick. The actual cache location was an easy (in my mind) climb up a (barely steep) hill and had a beautiful view of the Greenbrier State Park lake and beach.

The problem was that we had only hiked less than a third of a mile from our car to find the cache, and with our expanding waistlines and growing sense of not-wanting-to move-much due to the weather getting colder, I figured we were really obligated to do a longer hike.

I feigned ignorance as I suggested the “BIG RED TRAIL”. In reality I had reviewed the park map and determined that the other trails were too wimpy. The BIG RED TRAIL was listed as a “strenuous 4.5 mile loop" and that sounded just peachy to me. (I’m from Georgia, though…a lot of stuff sounds peachy to me!).

Sevan and I soon left Brian and Ed in the dust (or in the falling leaves, rocks and roots, as the case may be). We stayed in constant communication with our walkies and after our refreshing stroll, we compared notes.

Ed and Brian encountered two slightly aggressive barking dogs (off leash with the owner trailing behind) along their route, BUT they had all the snacks in the backpack.

Sevan and I dodged three mountain bikers (all quite courteous, and no barking), BUT we were starving and snackless.

Ed and Brian had figured out a shortcut (maybe doing only 4 miles or so) and Sevan and I completed closer to 5 miles with some extremely rocky and hilly terrain…but again, no attack dogs. We each thought we had the “better deal”.

It’s all good, and at the end of the day, we were scheming to visit the other 49 states and ultimately find the cache that’s closest to home..the prize in D.C. Now if we could just buy that RV!

Cornucopia

2007-10-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

The familia Nieves took a little spin (day trip) to a corn maze today near Cumberland, MD. Just a mere 200 miles each way, give or take.

I'm not sure what got into us, but when we were Alpharetta-ites, we made an annual pilgrimage to the coolest corn maze in Dawsonville, GA. It was a different maze every year with different challenges (the goal was to find as many hidden stations as possible, get your maze card punched, and oh yeah, find your way out). Over the last few years, we developed a kind of "corn maze fever".

This corn maze was a bit different. The kind folks at J&B Farms in Oldtown, MD, also design a different maze each year, but they are all educationally-based themes. We learned today that in years past, they had themed mazes including a food pyramid, a map of the U.S., agriculture in America, and many more.

This year's maze at J&B was "Passport to Colonial America", in celebration of the 400th anniversary of the founding of Jamestown. We were sent into the five-acre corn maze which from the air was reportedly shaped like the original thirteen colonies plus the American flag of the original thirteen colonies. From our perspective, it looked like endless corn with lots and lots of paths running through it.

We were given our instructions: find the answers to the 13 questions on our "scavenger hunt" card. Record each answer correctly and report back to the J&B staff. The prize? "I Conquered the Maze at J&B Farms" stickers for each of us!!! Shortest distance to the goal, approximately two miles. If we got lost and went off course....who knew?

Clues and answers were posted on signs that could be found throughout the maze, but we were warned that some of the signs/answers could be a bit tricky, so to read each sign carefully.

We knew one answer without even having to find the sign: "The autumn celebration in 1621 became known as _____". We knew right away it was Turkey Day, and that only left 12 more clues to find.

Along the way, we discovered some games that colonial children played (tops, blind man's bluff, walking on stilts); the names of the three ships that landed at Jamestown (Susan Constant, Godspeed, and Discovery); what colony was founded as a haven for debtors (Georgia by Oglethorpe); what do the red, white, and blue colors represent on the American flag (bravery, libery, justice); and who told the men in his colony, "If you don't work, you don't eat" (Capt. John Smith). These are some of the questions we answered correctly, and the first time.

We did however, have two of the 13 questions answered incorrectly, and we had a choice. Walk away from that pretty green "I Conquered the Maze" sticker, or march our buns back in there to find the correct answers. And march we did.

We discovered that Pennsylvania was founded as a haven for Quakers (not New Jersey as we had thought), and that Squanto was the person who helped the first settlement in Massachusetts survive the first winter.

And guess what? We got our stickers PLUS an ear of corn for each of us! What a day.

Somehow we forgot to bring the camera on our adventure, so the boys were kind enough to reenact their victory pose once we arrived home, with their stickers, their completed maze answer sheets and of course, their corn.

Brian would say that this is the CORNIEST joke of all, but it was a truly an a-MAZING experience!

There's No Place Like Home(s)

2007-10-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

We’ve officially lived in Columbia for five months now. At times, it feels like it’s been years, other times, I still feel like a brand newbie.
I asked a doctor friend once, when I might finally stop referring to Alpharetta as “home”. I have no family there. But yet, it became “home” over the almost 20 years I lived there. Ed and I got married in the Atlanta area. Brian and Sevan were born in Marietta. Our first two homes together were in Smyrna and Alpharetta.
So when will I stop saying, “back home, we did such and such”. Or, “in my homeschool group back home, we did xyz, etc.”

One thing my doctor friend said is that it really helps to get involved quickly and to make new friends. We’ve already been so warmly welcomed and loved, especially by the CHC’ers (our homeschool group).
Also, my friend said that after we’ve spent at least one of every season here, a good cold winter, fresh Maryland spring, LONGGG hot summer, and a beautiful fall, then MD would really start to feel more like home. (BTW, on that note, it’s actually cooler in Alpharetta than up “north” here in MD! What’s up with that??? We’re wearing shorts and sandals in October! But not white…it’s after Labor Day, after all, and some rules remain constant whether north or south!)

Thanks to CHC field trips, Children’s Month and Free Fall Baltimore (many museums have free admission in October), we’ve enjoyed Port Discovery Children’s Museum (interactive and hands-on to the nth degree); the "Top of the World" Tower on the 27th Floor of the World Trade Center in Baltimore, and the B & O Railway Museum. We went into D.C. for a field trip to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, but the tour was full, so we simply diverted down the street to the National Air and Space Museum (now how cool is that).
Learning our way around and about the Metro has been a thrill for Brian and Sevan (formerly known as “Evan”).

Even as Chick-Fil-Moo, I’ve had the privilege of representing our store at a few local football games, setting up the CFA tent and selling on-site. Through this process, I’ve discovered four of the local high schools, and can even find their respective football fields and concession stands without getting lost!

I just found out a few days ago that my step-daughter is getting married soon. I met my future stepson-in-law once, several years ago, and I thought he was a great guy. He’s in the Coast Guard, and his ship just docked in Baltimore. Although we weren’t able to visit with him (he was literally bussed out within hours of his arrival at oh-dark-thirty), we took a hop up to Baltimore, and took a tour of his ship. What a neat experience!

What wasn’t quite so neat were the loud and long blasts of the horn that freaked out both Brian and Sevan. The two of them high-tailed it off the ship with hands tightly covering their ears. It was kind of funny to see them trying to walk down a steep ship ladder without hands! (OK, that may sound a little cruel, but sometimes ya gotta laugh or ya gotta cry!)

Today, we discovered Woodbine, MD...the CHC'ers annual Fall Frolic. Hay rides, boo barn, fresh apple cider, hay maze, and pumpkin patch.

We were more than a little a-mazed!!!

Anyway, it’s all beginning to come together. Baltimore, D.C., Howard County, Columbia, mixed in with the memories and the people we'll always love "back home".

Ah...home sweet, homes.

Reading the Fine Print

2007-09-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

Before I became “Chick-Fil-Moo”, I worked in a “real job” in an office with great people doing essential work for an important cause. When writing the occasional memo to my co-workers, I took care to cover the details, to answer the “who, what, when, where, why and how” of the topic du jour. Inevitably, there would be someone who wouldn’t really “read-for-content”, who would call or e-mail to ask for the same information that I had just given them in written form. I would think to myself, "how silly...why don't you just READ!?!?"

I’ve chatted with my hubby, co-workers, and friends enough to know this is not unusual. If Rushing While Reading were a felony, many of us would be in the slammer. But hold on! Haven’t we perfected the art of multi-taking? As successful business people and parents, surely it's a prerequisite for success. I, for one, can certainly read-for-content and chew gum at the same time!
Hmmm…

Today the Fairly Odd Family went Geocaching again. We love to go Geocaching together: there's something enticing for each of us. Brian finds the idea of a treasure hunt irresistible. Evan is fond of walking on new trails and in new places. Ed enjoys communing with nature and the great outdoors. And I love the exercise and hiking.

The cache was located nearby in Patapsco Valley State Park. The person who placed the cache also put the relevant details on Geocaching.com, and we printed out the info sheet and took it with us.

I was all about the details, double-checking as I programmed into the GPS coordinates for the parking area, a fishing pond along the route, the suspension bridge near the final destination, and of course the coordinates for the cache location. We tucked a picnic lunch into our backpack, and off to Patapsco we went.

Arriving at the park at noon, and having had a late breakfast, we decided to wait and have our lunch at the cache site. Surely, we'd arrive within the next hour or two. This cache was entitled “Cascade Falls!” which has such a nice ring as a picnic spot. I conjured up mental images of a peaceful picnic next to a tranquil waterfall.

We located the parking lot and the fishing pond without incident. Proudly, we continued onward and upward (literally), frequently consulting our trusty GPS. Arriving at a fork in the path, our GPS told us to veer right. Why would we doubt for a moment? To the right, we enthusiastically veered.

We started up a steep, narrow, winding dirt path. Feeling more like mountaineers than hikers, we kept climbing. After a while, our GPS annoyingly persisted in telling us to turn to the left, but the trail just kept curving to the right. Brian suggested that we bushwack our way to the left. Just plow through the brambles and briars, march on up, and TAKE THAT HILL! Thank goodness cooler heads prevailed. I was sensible enough to wait at least until we found an even narrower, less-traveled, lonesome dirt trail that angled to the left.

We were ravenous long before reaching the cache, and instead of the idyllic picnic spot I envisoned, we chowed down next to a fence bordering some private property while a stray dog begged for some leftover Chick-Fil-Moo nuggets.

I’m not exactly sure how long it was before one of us had the brainstorm to actually read the printout of the “Cascade Falls!” info. It was like a bolt from the blue. Remember in the “Wizard of Oz” when Dorothy discovers that all along, she had the power of the ruby slippers?

Our friendly geocache stasher had been just as generous in her written instructions. “Follow the paved trail northwest…” PAVED trail? Are you kidding me? We’d been crossing streams, and avoiding roots, rocks, lions, tigers, and bears for hours. All along we were supposed to stay on the PAVED trail?
Yep, at that moment in time, Ed and I pled “no contest” to Rushing While Reading and the related offense, Absorbing Only the Details that Seem Interesting at the Moment. The trail back to Kansas had been available to us all along.

Patapsco Valley State Park consists of a mere 14,000 acres. We visited 9412 of them today.

GPS is such incredible technology. It can lead us to almost any set of coordinates. We just needed to fully process that it was guiding us "as the crow flies", an expression for which I have fresh appreciation.
At day's end, as I'm writing now in my comfy air-conditioned room on my sweet little laptop, it all seems a bit surreal. We're all sore, our feet hurt and our muscles are tired, yet after being on the trails for almost six hours, we're feeling great.
Today, we hung together as a family. We actually, eventually, and after contempating-giving-up-several-times, found the cache. We saw more deer than I can count and met some really interesting people, and several friendly and energetic dogs. The boys played on a huge playground made entirely of recycled tires. We all got loads of healthy fresh air and exercise.

And as to the charge of Rushing While Reading? From time to time, it probably gets the best of most of us.

Forget “no contest”. I’m happily guilty as charged.

Thank God for College Football

2007-08-31T00:51:00.000-07:00

Just as life seems a bit more overwhelming than usual, just when frustrations boil over, praise God and thank you Lord, for bringing back college football. And not a moment too soon.

I’ve recently begun working part-time at Chick-Fil-A in the mall. Brian and Evan are so proud of me…you’d think I’d landed a job in the space and rocket industry, or maybe as a scientist who discovers a healthy way to eat french fries and chicken nuggets at every meal, all while maintaining healthy cholesterol levels.

The boys have even created a Wii “Mii” entitled “ChicFilMoo”, and on the days that I work, it’s a big deal to them that I do my “Wii Fitness” under my ChicFilMoo Mii. They refer to me as "Chick-Fil-Moo" now (except on days that I don’t work, when I remain “Mango Mo”). They think I’m really cool.

Sometimes it doesn't feel so cool to me. It feels tiring, and a bit depressing (aren't I too old for the "quick service" industry)? I’m just trying to help pay the bills. Everything here is so blasted expensive, from housing to groceries. And of course, we're still trying to catch back up from Ed's long unemployment last year.

When we first moved here, I didn’t even pursue therapy services for the kids because we simply couldn’t afford them. Now that my income has started to help us out, I’ve been looking for some of the wonderful sensory-based therapy that was so readily available when we lived in Atlanta. Guess what? It ain’t here as far as I can tell. Oh sure, if I drive to Bethesda or into D.C., more options present themselves. But here in Columbia, I’ve been shocked to discover the dearth of services. This is a “wealthy” area, I'm told, and I have seen my fair share of kids with autism, even in our brief few months here. So where are the services?

I’ve called several clinics that offer PT/OT, but none that offer sensory-based therapy. And these are not Pediatric Clinics either…they handle children, as well as adults. In Alpharetta, I can count 6 pediatric clinics offering sensory-based therapy within 20 minutes of where we used to live. I didn't know how much to appreciate what we had...until it was gone.

I have a dear friend who is struggling with a possible divorce from her husband. Another dear friend just lost his second sister to cancer…within a year. Another dear friend struggles with the issues of balancing her children’s needs with wondering if she’s making the right choices for herself and her family (our perpetual question in the homeschool community): to homeschool or not to homeschool?

Ed and I struggle with two job schedules now, the ongoing money issues, guilt over not being able to provide the kids with what they need. How far can we venture out into the "real world" when we never know which kid might throw what tantrum over something that appears completely inane to us. That constant feeling of being out of control, and doubting ourselves. Wanting to do more for others and our community. Feeling like that in some ways, we have no right to complain when others deal with issues more serious and life-threatening than ours. Wishing we could be closer to our families that seem so far away.

Is this what “mid-life” entails? Layer upon layer of more questions, insecurities, doubts? I guess I figured that by now, I’d have it together. I was gonna be hip and smooth and “in control” (how laughable those two words are to parents of ASD children)!

Somebody slap me, please, and quickly! Control is simply an illusion, and that hasn't changed at all over time.

So Chick-Fil-Moo has been wallowing in self-pity. And just when I’m ready to volunteer for a good cow tipping, (and please leave me lying there to drink in the sweet smell of more crap), along comes college football. And all seems well again. For today, everything seems OK.

Tonight, the kids gathered round the TV. Evan understands not one bit of the game, but loves to hang in there with us and watch. Brian and I cheered for every LSU 1st down, and danced each time we sacked the opposing quarterback. Wonderful, passionate, feel-good, escapist college football.
Tonight’s final Score: LSU 45 and Miss. St. 0

Thank you, Lord.

Dihydrogen Monoxide

2007-08-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

Although Billy's new supplement

'Dihydrogen Monoxide' didn't taste

much different than water,

at only $3/ounce he thought

it was a really good deal!

You know it's been a good work-out when you walk thru the door and your loving son looks at you, sniffs distastefully, and declares, "phew, you stink!". Yep, it was one strenuous exercise session.

As life would have it, I may have a chance to work as a part-time package handler for UPS. If I do get the job, I will have to lift 35-45 lb. packages routinely, sometimes over my head, and occasionally, packages up to 70 lbs.

I decided to start upper body work-outs right away. If I get the job, I will need the physical strength. If I don't get the job, then what have I lost? I'll be a bit more toned up, and so much the better.

My "life coach" was thrilled with this win-win, "glass is half-full" attitude. "Good for you", she enthused. I appreciate her support.

****Disclaimer/fine print follows****
She is not REALLY a life coach. It's just that I dig her upbeat, down-to-earth, and realistic advice. She has never claimed to be a "life coach". She doesn't currently represent herself as such, and to the best of my knowledge, never has. No formal education was completed, no licenses earned, and she doesn't even play one on TV. (OK, Sunny Spring and BBA, will that suffice to keep any potential legal action at bay?)

So how quickly can I expect to ramp up to a Mrs. Schwartzenneger physique, and I don't mean Maria Shriver, although that wouldn't be so bad.

If I can only benchpress 40 pounds now, am I doomed?

After only one trip 'round the Universal equipment, my arms feel like sore limp spaghetti.

Maybe a bit of 'Dihydrogen Monoxide' would give me just the needed boost.

Kris, can you take care of that Rx for me?

I have a hiking stick and I'm not afraid to use it!

2007-08-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

The hunt was on.

The Fairly Odd Family (that's us!) went geocaching today at Lake Elkhorn. Geocaching requires that you give yourself a code name, and after your trusty GPS leads you to the hidden treasure, you log each "find" on your computer under your unique name. Some diehard cachers have logged thousands of finds, from all over the world.

When we first began Geocaching two years ago, we called ourselves "Col. Mustard, Mrs. White, Scooby Doo, and Little Grey". It was a bit cumbersome as a code name, plus "Little Grey" decided absolutely and with no ambiguity whatsover that he would NOT stand to be called Little Grey ever again.

Scooby Doo and the former Little Grey are fans of the show "The Fairly Odd Parents", so we recently decided to change to "The Fairly Odd Family". It's less cumbersome and certainly more descriptively accurate.

Today, we "Odd Family" members trudged through the bushes next to Lake Elkhorn, avoiding Geomuggles, spider webs, poison ivy, brambles, briars, and snakes, sweating, and generally having a lovely time. Ah, the great outdoors!

Along our hike, we discovered some green, lime-size, seeds or fruits, and I'm clueless as to what they are. They look like green golf balls, or a bit like limes, but they smelled stinky, for sure. Formerly-known-as "Little Grey" refused to touch them. Any guesses? Animal, vegetable, mineral or alien?

Ultimately, we succeeded in our quest and geocaught the target. It's always such a feeling of accomplishment when you sign the log book and proclaim "we were here". This particular cache was in a watertight Thermos, right near the lake. We traded a Geocaching trinket for some Mardi Gras beads that I proudly wore home. Another one for the books!

Who can resist the allure?

And who's with me for the next Geofun adventure?

Babysitter's Rap

2007-08-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

I recently assigned a writing project to Brian. He was supposed to use the "5-paragraph model" (introduction, 3 supporting paragraphs, conclusion), and he was to write about characteristics or qualities that you would and/or wouldn't want to find in a babysitter. I chose this topic because he's been trying to convince me that he's old enough and mature enough to "be in charge" of Evan while Ed and I are away for brief periods.

Being Brian, he opted to stretch his wings a bit, and do his own version of the "5-paragraph model".

Here goes:
Hello ev’ryone, my name is Brian.
I’m a babysitter and I’m not lyin.
I’ll explain the best and worst parts of babysitters.
(The babies are also called “little critters”.)

No. 1 is energy that is first rate.
Energy is what made the world great.
Energy is awesome. Energy is fun.
That’s why energy is No. 1.

No. 2 is anger because that is bad.
Anger just makes us sad.
Anger fed Spidey’s new suit.
That is why anger is No. 2.

Last one is patience, that is good.
That is what helps carvers carve wood.
It is what helps inventors invent.
Also what helps mentors ment.

This is what I wrote about.
Come on ev’rybody, let’s all shout!
That is what it’s meant to be.
Ouch! I just banged my left knee!

Anyone need a babysitter? :-)

Yes, I CAN!, Girls Night, & Bama Blanket

2007-07-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Brian just came out of his room, laughing his head off about a scene he just read in "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince". In the book, Ron was performing miserably at Quidditch, and the opposing team gleefully taunted him about it. Harry made Ron believe that he had spiked Ron's drink with some "felix felicis", a lucky potion that gave the imbiber 12 hours worth of good luck. Ron subsequently played a miraculous game of Quidditch, saving the day, making the great plays. It wasn't until later that he learned that he had taken a placebo and that he had actually made the winning moves all by himself.

Brian was cracking up thinking about how Ron was "tricked", and I pounced upon the "teachable moment" of the POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. How easy it is to explain it to Brian. Easy to teach, harder to do.

Then I thought of Lisa's comment, that CAN is an affirming and positive moniker. It's a reminder that I carry my own felix felicis. I'll share though...any takers? :-)

And BTW, Sunny Spring...Let's definitely do that "girls night out"! I haven't seen the movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous, but it sounds like fun. More power of positive thinking!

One more thing...to Brown's Bridge Academy: Since you recommended a rednecky "Bama" blanket to my much superior, regal and sophisticated Tigers of LSU blanket, I'll take this opportunity to share the following:

Three college grads, one from Auburn, one from LSU, and one from BAMA, are all construction workers. They were sitting up on one of those high rafters that builders often eat lunch on. The Auburn grad opens his lunchbox and says, "Awww man! CHICKEN!!! I HATE CHICKEN!!! Every day its the same thing...Chicken, Chicken, Chicken!! If I get chicken one more time, I'm gonna jump off this beam." Then the LSU grad opens his lunchbox. "Awww man!!! HAM AND CHEESE!! I HATE HAM AND CHEESE!!! Every day is the same thing...HAM AND CHEESE, HAM AND CHEESE, HAM AND CHEESE!! If I get ham and cheese one more time, I'll jump off this beam with you." So then the BAMA grad opens his lunchbox. "Awww man!!! SPAM!!! I HATE SPAM!!!! Every day its the same thing...SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!! If I get SPAM one more time, I'll jump off this building with y'all." So the next day on lunch break, the three guys are sitting on their beam. The Auburn grad opens his lunch box. As fate would have it, it was chicken. "Well, it looks like I'm jumping." He looks at the LSU grad and says, "So what'd you get?" The LSU grad opens his box...ham and cheese. "Well, it looks like we're jumping together." They wait for the BAMA grad to open his box. "Sure nuff...SPAM." They jump. Since they all died at once, they held their funerals all at once. The three men's wives were standing around crying. The wife of the Auburn grad says, "I had no idea he hated chicken...If I had known that, I wouldn't have packed it for him." The wife of the LSU grad sobs, "I had no idea my husband hated ham and cheese...If I had known that, I wouldn't have packed it for him." The wife of the BAMA grad then says, "My husband made his own lunch."

Pick Your Battles

2007-07-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

I was just remembering a visit many years ago to my aunt and uncle's house in San Diego. My cousins (their boys) are now in college, and back then, the twins were maybe 14, and my older cousin was maybe 16.

They ate like teenage boys so, which is to say, like vacuum cleaners. The problem was that they didn't clean up after themselves like vacuum cleaners. I remember my aunt coming through the kitchen, putting tops on peanut butter jars, twisty ties back on the bread, jelly back in the fridge, sealing up the cereal and the chips, and wiping off counters.

I called her on it, asking her how they were going to learn to take responsibility for themselves, and particularly, how were they going to become good husbands in the future if they expected someone to clean up after them. She responded that, yeah, she knew, but that sometimes you gotta pick your battles. The boys had so much else going on (the twins had been major premies and still struggled with some OT and social issues). My older cousin was holding down a job and going to high school at the time. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

Flash forward to today, and guess what? Oh crap...I have become my aunt. I totally and completely get where she was coming from. ("From where she was coming", I should say...we're not allowed to end a sentence in a preposition in my house. But I digress).

Of course, I've thought up with some good excuses for my lax parenting, so I'll just vent them here:
a) My boys have OT issues, sensory issues, PT issues, social issues, and so on. The social issues don't have anything to do with helping make breakfast, but the others do. Half the time they trip or spill or make a huge mess. Other times they can't stand the feel of a texture. They're really sensitive and klutzy.
b) I would rather do it myself just for the sake of expediency (see "a" above).
c) If they've been stressed by other demands, it's my way of letting them rest, i.e., I've picked other battles, and I'm not going to choose this one.
d) Particularly with Evan, but also Brian, I can only give one small instruction at a time, breaking down some simple tasks into minute bits of tasks. It's really tiring.
e) I'm just too tired to care (see "a" thru "d" above).

But yet, they are now 10 and 8, and darn it, it's time for them to do more...spilled, mucky, mess or not. I have just picked up my sword.

Thinking through my battle plan like a homeschool parent (where everything is a "teachable moment"), this is what I've decided:
We are going to schedule some classes this year called "Home Economics for Dummies". I won't be sharing the title with the boys.

We will take as long as it takes to learn how to make and clean up a pb&j. We'll practice sweeping floors without knocking the toaster off the kitchen counter. We will perfect the art of making a dish towel "damp" (not dripping and soaking, but "damp"). If something smells "funny" to B & E, then they can wear surgical masks, and if it feels uncomfortable to handle, then we'll go with gloves.

We'll make time for all sorts of "mundane" tasks slowly and patiently. It's all gonna be part of the 2007-2008 curriculum at CAN Academy.

I'm feeling more hopeful already.

P.S. Seeing as I've got several "doctor" friends, how 'bout donating some of those masks and gloves? :-)

Is it Worth a Thousand Words?

2007-07-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

It started with a picture. Really, are they worth a thousand words? This morning, I tried to take a picture of Brian and Evan so we could turn it into a birthday card, print it, and send it to their sister Noelia (Ed’s daughter) who is turning 24 in a few days. It turned into a tantrum-fest, complete with lots of fussing and complaining (and that was just me…you should have seen the kids in action).

In the grand scheme of life, it was not a big deal, we're just talking about a birthday card and a camera, and a couple of whiny kids. But a wise friend once told me that it’s the minutiae in life that trips us up. We rally around one another when the big stuff happens…but over time, the little stuff wears us down, and tires us out.

My new life coach (I call her “LC” for short, but you may know her as “Sunny Spring Bliss”) has reminded me that life is short, and it’s happening right now. LC is teaching me to not take things personally, and the importance of community. I feel like a slow learner.

A wise doctor friend recently recommended that I consider journaling to track the kids’ progress over time. Her thinking is that I’ll look back in a few years and laugh at some of the tantrums and fits and issues with which I once dealt.

So, I’m considering all the wise advice, living for today, and “just venting” here.

And BTW, which one of these pictures would you choose for the birthday card?